


My Seasons

by Kopper_Star



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Comedy, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hugs, Inspired by Music, Male-Female Friendship, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-29 07:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16739794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kopper_Star/pseuds/Kopper_Star
Summary: You want to know what happens?You'll have to open me to find out. Revel in my story told by music.Freely: FluffOut Of My Mind: Angst/FluffCongratulations: ComedyHabits: Soft Hours = OPEN





	1. 1. Freely

3 AM.

A quiet dorm room.

The sleeping figure of a young woman in her twenties.

Moonlight shining through a window, carelessly left open, despite the chill outside.

Messy living quarters.

Discarded fast food buckets and music sheets.

Hoodies and sweaters tossed every which way, along with the occasional miss-matched sock.

The door banging open, despite the early hour.

The young woman shooting up, fear etched on her face.

That fear quickly melting away as she realized whom it was that disturbed her rest.

Park Jaehyung, leaning in through the archway, grinning toothily, his hair totally messed up, glasses slightly askew, and padded black trench coat.

"What do you want, Jae?" the woman groaned, sleep still heavy on her voice. She pulled the covers up over her head, trying to block out the light that came in through the open door.

"Bagels," he said simply in his chirpier tone, reserved for the English language. She could hear the smile in his voice. "I wanna get bagels with you at three in the morning."

She pulled the linen sheets down just slightly. "Why...?" Perhaps it was a silly question. She knew Park Jaehyung best for his spontaneous nature.

He shrugged. "Because you haven't been acting like yourself lately. You've been acting... Boring, and that's so not like you."

She sat up fully, letting the sheets slip down, revealing her grey tank-top and sweatpants. "I haven't been _boring_ , I've been _cautious."_

He rolled his eyes. "All right, you've been _cautious_ all day. That doesn't change the fact that you've been acting weird!"

She squinted her eyes, trying to focus on him, but it was difficult without her glasses.

She hated her glasses. They were those dumb Harry-Potter-style ones, but the company made her wear them, saying that they gave her a cuter image. Which was true, but she didn't think she was a particularly cute person.

She snatched them off the side table with a significant huff. "It's not weird to try and keep your job, Jae!" She snatched up one of the discarded music sheets from off the floor for emphasis. "Maybe it's never been a problem for you, but not everyone is as multitalented and impressive as Day6's Professional Hottie!"

She crumpled it up and tossed it back on the ground. Sure, it was immature and really served no purpose, but she was tired and irate, so she did it anyway. "Me being 'fun' is what led me to procrastinate on this song, and what led me to being chewed out more times in a week than I ever was when I was a teenager going through my embarrassing goth phase!"

The tall young man seemed to be listening seriously up until that point. He couldn't help but snort. "You had a goth phase?"

She blushed, realized what she'd said. "Well... Yeah. Didn't everyone?" The defense was weak, but she needed at least something.

He shook his head, grin never failing to weaken her resolve. "Nope. I never had one."

She scoffed, flopping back down on the bed. "As I said: perfect Park Jaehyung."

Finally, he left the archway, traveling a few steps into the room. "Come on, Janey..." He kicked away a few papers, guitar and piano notes scratched across them in a stressed attempt at musicality. "Just set your work aside for a moment and follow me."

Before she knew it, he was leaning over her, still grinning. "Trust me—I'll make it worth your while. I'll clear your writers block like dope tweets clear my acne."

She always did this. She always melted for his stupid, toothy grin. She always adopted it, too. "Fine," she chuckled, bringing a hand up to push his face away. "You're so creepy!"

He stuck his tongue out. "You love it."

"You wish."

"Wishes are for things that aren't real yet, so even if it wasn't true—it would be soon!" A shiver ran down his spine. "How do you have the window open? It's freezing!" He walked over and shut it, trying to be quiet since there were others in the building.

Not that he'd cared that much when he banged her door open at three in the morning.

She sat up and shrugged. "I'm always cold. I have the skin of an eighty year old man."

He covered his mouth, like he always did when he was laughing. "I'm not even gonna ask." He sighed contentedly, looking out the window with the sparkle of adventure in his eyes. "All right!" He turned to her with a flourish. "M'lady, under this starlit night, would you care to drive with me?"

She looked at him with a lazy smile and tired, genuine eyes. Slowly she reached her hand out, placing it in his, his fingers calloused from his guitar. "Fine. I'll drive with you at three AM, you weirdo."

* * *

 

3:21 AM.

A quieter than normal city of Seoul.

The smiling figure of a woman in her twenties.

The car window open, her hand hanging out, the wind passing through her fingers, despite the chill of the outdoors.

Her friend's car.

Him behind the wheel.

Her shoved into one of his oversized jumpers because he simply wouldn't allow her to step out into the freezing cold with just a tank-top, sweatpants, and jacket.

Bed-head being a fashion statement.

She turned to him, her smile having slowly grown larger and larger. Though she'd hate to admit it, he did have a way of cheering her up when she was in too deep. "Where're we going?" she asked.

He was sure she was happy. He could hear it in her voice. "I don't care where we go," he said. "We could go a few blocks away, or we could go a few miles away—I'd do it all."

She chuckled. "Well, since it's still the early hours, we'll try to stay fairly close to the dorms, yeah?"

He took a good look at her as they reached a stoplight. "I like this," he said.

"Like what?"

"This moment. This moment of leaving with you. Escaping."

She chuckled, scratching the side of her nose a little. It was a habit she wished she could break for no particular reason other than she thought it looked dumb. Jae liked it, though. "Well, I like it too, but I'd like it even more if the car behind us wouldn't start honking because you're stopped at a green light."

His eyes immediately snapped back to the road, hitting the gas pedal. "You're rubbish."

She snickerd. "No, you're rubbish for calling me rubbish."

"The day I'm rubbish is the day lobster sucks!"

"Lobster _does_ suck."

He gasped dramatically. "How are you my friend?!"

"How long do we wanna be out?" she asked, hoping to distract him. Luckily for her, he was easily distracted.

He shrugged a little. "I don't care how long we're out, as long as we get to work on time. It could be for a short amount of time, if you want, but then again, we don't need to rush." He glanced at her real quick. "It's our pace, you know?"

She nodded, taking this time he was preoccupied with road to study his features in detail, a habit she had when he was focused on something. This was her favorite look on him.

Slightly tired, messy hair, smiling, and no makeup. "Sounds good." She sighed in a content way, just happy to be driving with him at now 3:30 in the morning.

She leaned her head against the car door, the wind from the open window buffeting her messy hair. "Look at the sky, Jae. It's so pretty at this time, and I'd never even know, if it weren't for tonight."

He smiled, but kept his eyes facing front. "Tonight—or today, I guess, if you wanna get technical—you and I'll be together under that sky."

She furrowed her brows at him. "You're weird, you know that? Poetic."

"You've told me that every day since you came to the company," he chuckled. "And that poeticness? Comes from being a successful songwriter."

She rolled her eyes playfully, even though he couldn't see it. However, even without looking, he knew she was joking. "Thanks for rubbing it in."

"Any time, Janey." He glanced at her quickly. "But, y'know... You really shouldn't worry too much about that new song."

She huffed grumpily, propping her feet up on the console. "I can't...!" What started out as irritation fizzled away into a type of sadness, one that she knew Jae was familiar with, despite never wanting to admit it.

The feeling of not being able to do anything right. "I can't _not_ worry about it..." she said quietly. Jae rolled up her window so he could hear her better. "This is really important for me. If I don't get this finished on time, if I don't do this well, I could get kicked out of the company... You remember what happened to my old roommate. That could be me tomorrow, or the next day! If I don't keep going, then I—"

"Janey." One of his hands has drifted away from the wheel, landing on her knee. It was a gentle caress that she'd come to seek whenever her insecurities got the best of her. "Can you lemme give you some advice?" She nodded. "Just... Be free, okay? Don't worry about tomorrow, don't have a single care."

She gave his hand a hard poke. "That's your advice?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. Also, that hurt!"

She giggled. "It was supposed to."

"Jerk."

"Always."

He smiled. "See? We should hang out with just us more often; you're already more like yourself!"

She scoffed lightheartedly. "We always hang out! Can't I hang out with Wonpil for a while?"

"That is the one thing I will never allow."

* * *

 

3:55 AM

A random hole-in-the-wall bagel joint.

The empty plates and full stomachs of two friends in their twenties.

The city slowly coming alive, despite the reluctance of the populous.

People staring at them questioningly, because _gosh_ , do they look like they're homeless, dressed in their old worn pajamas, with unkempt hair and bare, makeup-less faces.

They were happy, and laughing about dumb, meaningless things. Maybe it was the early morning, or the abundance of Everything Bagels. Or perhaps, it was just that they mixed well. Who knows, really?

"Well, I admit it," she said, throwing her napkin onto the table. "You're a genius. I feel much better now."

He looked smug, in that special sort of socially awkward, chickeny way. "What'd I tell ya? You should listen to me more often."

She smiled. "Maybe I will."

"Oh-ho-ho! The great stubborn goddess has submit to my will? I feel as if I've accomplished something."  

She leaned over the table, snatching his glasses. "I wouldn't go that far."

"Janey!" he whined, pushing out his bottom lip a little. He knew she couldn't resist it when he was pouty. "Give 'em back, please!"

True to form, her resolve crumbled. Begrudgingly, she handed them back over, grumbling a few curses. She plopped back into her seat, crossing her arms.

He slipped his spectacles back on, laughing a little. "You're such a baby."

"Says the guy who just bribed me with pouting."

"Not my fault that you're weak for me."

"You're my friend! What am I supposed to do?"

He cut off any further banter by holding out his hand. "Join me in walking back to the car, that's what you're supposed to do."

She rolled her eyes. "De ja vu," she said, taking his hand, as she had earlier that night. "I guess I don't have a choice."

He winked at her. "'Cause I'm irresistible?"

"'Cause you're my ride, dork-face."

* * *

 

4:20 AM

Two friends walking with their arms linked together.

Two friends shivering from the cold.

Two friends watching the city truly come alive.

Two friends watching some of the early morning shops open.

Two friends watching a busker set up.

Two friends, perfectly content.

"Why the heck did you decide to park so far away?" she asked with a giggle, her teeth chattering just slightly.

"Because exercise is good for you, fatso!" he retorted, shuffling a little closer to her for warmth.

She bumped him with her hip. "Nah, I think you just didn't think ahead."

He scoffed. "I am a master plan-man—I think ahead for everything."

"Sure. Whatever you say, J-boi." A frown made its way to her face as she watched the busker tune and tighten his guitar strings.

Jaehyung looked at her, worried. "Hey, are you okay?" He felt her forehead, almost as if expecting to find a fever having suddenly appeared.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to shoot him a convincing smile.

"No, you're not," he insisted.

She could never lie to him, could she? She sighed. "I'm still... Thinking about it."

"The song?"

She nodded.

He nibbled thoughtfully on his thumb nail, simulating his usual guitar pick. She'd come to love when he'd do that. He snapped his fingers as his face lit up, a brilliant idea passing through his mind. "Wait here a sec, okay?"

She watched him as he sauntered over to the busker. They exchanged a few phrases in Korean, the busker looking mildly confused with the whole request. Finally, Jae passed him a sizable bill (which she was surprised he even had on him—he was usually so broke), and he started playing a song. A song that was very familiar to her.

A song that he was playing at 4:26 in the morning, like a private concert, just for the two of them.

Jae danced over to her goofily, not really giving a care if anyone happened to see him. His main focus was her, and anyone could see that.

She laughed at him, more of a scoff than anything else. Half of her wanted to cover her eyes to hide her embarrassment, but the other half was enjoying this far too much.

"What are you doing?" she laughed.

He grabbed her hands, swinging them back and forth. "It's our song, Janey. What am I supposed to do? _Not_ dance?"

"Just because it's the song that was playing when we met doesn't make it 'our song', Jae." Despite her words, she had the biggest grin on her face.

Plus, she was already getting into a bit of a groove, swaying back and forth in time with the music. Even tapping her heels every once in a while.

She had been practicing Crazy Sexy Cool by Astro on the keyboard the first time Jae had met her, and he'd never ever let her forget it. Sometimes, he'd even play the song on his phone, just to tease her with it.

Jaehyung linked their fingers. His felt long and bony in between hers, but because of the way they were with each other, their comfortableness with each other, that was the optimal feeling. He had always said: 'friends should be able to hold hands and it not be weird!'

She agreed with him most of the time, but she thought it might help truly sell his story if he stopped giggling like a schoolgirl every time they did so.

"Do me a favor, mkay?" he said.

She nodded. "Okay, I can do that."

"Feel this freakin' freedom vibe with me!"

She laughed, a hint of embarrassment in it. He was speaking way too loudly for the hour. But of course—what else could be expected from Park Jaehyung? "Can it, Chicken Little! You're not in America anymore!"

He spun her around. "But don't you feel it, Janey?" he beamed. She let him pull her in closer. "Let's just dance around until the sun comes up, yeah?"

"The sun's almost up," she pointed out.

He got an impish look in his eyes, always warm and clear. Except when he was sleepy, or didn't have his glasses on. Then, they were bleary, and kind of hilarious. "Well then, if the sun's almost up I guess we can _turn the music up!"_ He made the last part louder so that the busker would hear him.

Luckily, he managed to, playing louder than before. He even seemed to be getting into it himself, a smile spreading across his features.

"Look at that," Jae boasted. "Our smiles are contagious."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Only because you're a disease."

"That hurts me, Jane."

"Really?" she chuckled.

He nodded. "Yeah, really. Right in the heart. Hits me in the feels, man."

"Jae." She lightly bonked her forehead against his. "Sometimes, you just need to shut up."

He grinned at her. "But you love the sound of my voice."

 _"You_ love the sound of your voice," she corrected.

He shrugged. "True. But can you blame me? It's a pretty sexy voice."

She snorted. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Palmtree."

"What can I say? It's what! I! Do!" He punctuated each word with a skip, bringing his friend along with him. She would have to admit—the happiness therapy was working. She felt better, and she was even getting inspiration for her unfinished song.

"You feel that, Janey? This is happiness! This is fun! I'm sure you've grown unfamiliar with it," he teased, flashing her a playful wink. "Just brush off your all-day stress,"—he did a weird move with his shoulders, and though it was weird, it was addictive, and Janey found herself doing it as well—"and put your hands high to the sky!" He held her hands and lifted them up to the sky, a lovely mixture of dark blue and orange.

He manipulated her body, making her do weirder and weirder things. But honestly? She didn't care. It was making her laugh uncontrollably, and she always expected the strangest from her strangest friend. "That's right, Janey—just shake it! No matter who sees!"

She almost collapsed because of her giggle-fritzing. "First of all, shake _what?_ Second of all, how am I supposed to? You're doing it all for me!" Her ears perked up, hearing a very familiar sound. She frowned a little. "Also, I think we're gonna get rained out of our little mini concert." Sure enough, thunder clapped and a torrential downpour began.

Just their luck, she thought. She grabbed her friend's hand, planning to drag him under the building overhang with the busker, but he was having none of it. He spun her back into his arms with a flourish.

"Jae?" She was shocked, to say the least. "What're you doing?"

He pushed her wet bangs out of her face. "It doesn't matter if it rains, it doesn't matter if we get wet—I just wanna savor this moment of dancing with you." His smile was still bright, even through the minimal visibility of the raindrops on her glasses. "Besides, dancing in the rain? RESPECT!"

She was going to chastise him for trying to get them both sick, but something stopped her. Maybe it was the fact that the musician was still playing, despite the sudden storm.

Maybe it was the fact that Jae had done so much for her that day.

Maybe it was the fact that his damp, dripping hair framed his face perfectly, and it was just too good a moment to pass up. She didn't really know. All she knew was that she was happy that both of them wore glasses; she was happy that both of them could barely see—because she didn't want him to notice her warm cheeks.

They were friends, as always. She didn't need more. She didn't.

He was proud of himself for making her stay, gently moving them back and forth, like a slow dance at prom. Usually, she'd fight him a little bit more. Maybe he should spoil her more often. Well... Not too often, because he's broke as an old man's hip.

He leaned in to her, dangerously close to the shell of her ear. "Looks like we've stayed up all night, Janey. Good thing we don't have anything to care about."

She snorted. "Nothing to care about, huh? What about work?"

He squeezed her hand a little tighter. An assurance for her not to worry. "Just for tonight, today, this day—whatever this is!—forget everything." He grinned cheekily. "Except me, 'cause I'm the most important thing in your life. Just for right now, let it go."

She tongued the inside of her cheek in contemplation. "Fine," she said, finally leaning into his hold just a little, letting herself become less stiff. "Just for tonight, today, this day—whatever this is—I'll live freely with you."


	2. 2. Out Of My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which one's insecurities and toxicity infects the other.
> 
> But can it be healed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korean Key:
> 
> 아, 재형 씨! 안녕하세요.   
> (Ah, Jaehyung-ssi! Annyeonghaseyo.) 
> 
> 안녕하세요. Janey 어디있는데요?  
> (Annyeonghaseyo. Janey eodi issneun daeyo?)

It was past midnight when his phone rang, revealing her caller ID: 'Janey' with several penguin emojis bordering it, just for the fact that she waddled when she was sleepy. 

This had happened far too often in recent months. Far too often for him to _not_ worry about her. She never did this, and she never had since he'd first met her. 

He sat up from his bed, his bangs hanging in his eyes. He scrambled for his glasses, laid on the bed-side table somewhere in the dark. Once he found them, he answered the call immediately, like a compulsion. 

"Jane?" he said, speaking quietly so he didn't wake his dorm-mates. "Janey, are you okay?"

She was crying. "Jae..." she said from the other side, rambling plenty of nonsense after that one understandable word. She sounded so weak, so vulnerable. "Jae, can you please come and pick me up? Please?"

He sighed, though he still felt pity for his friend. "Janey... Again?"

"Please, just come and pick me up! Jae, I _need_ you!" Then the dial tone.

That's the way it always was, and it had terrified him the first few times. He had always thought something terrible had happened to her, but when he showed up, she was perfectly fine, almost like a hidden camera prank. That's actually what he thought it had been the first couple of times, but time proved that theory incorrect. 

Yet, stil... When he heard her teary words and her shattered state, he ran to her. It wasn't the first time, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, but he always—in a way—seemed to be poised for it. Ready for her to call him at any second. He'd even started keeping an especially warm hoodie by his bed for quick use.

Why he still did this even after all these months, he had no clue. It was affecting him, he knew. He was more tired these days, made more mistakes during practice. Yet, that didn't stop him. 

"Why am I doing this?" he grumbled to himself as he shuffled out of bed, collecting his to-go hoodie. He maneuvered through the four other boys scattered around the dorm, trying hard not to wake them. 

Quietly, he unlocked the front door, slipping out and heading for the trainee dorms. That's where she was, he knew. He always knew, despite not being told. She'd never been anywhere else when this happened. 

"I can't believe I'm stilling getting dragged around by this," he mused as he jogged down the street. The trainee dorms weren't far enough away to warrant driving. Though... The first few times, he had. 

He'd even been pulled over because he was going far over the speed limit, but after it continued to happen, he slowly stopped doing that. Just being there was enough, he assured himself, and he didn't need to almost get arrested for it to happen. 

Finally, he reached the dorms. Finally, he reached _her_. 

He went to the front desk. There was always someone there. 

"아, 재형 씨! 안녕하세요,"* the receptionist said, bowing a little. 

He bowed back. "안녕하세요. Janey 어디있는데요?"* Janey was well-known among the staff. Well-known, and well-loved. That was just the type of person she was. The staff had become worried for her, too. 

The receptionist gave him a sympathetic smile. She'd become quite accustomed to his late-night visits, and despite originally thinking that they were in a secret relationship, she soon realized that wasn't the case. She pointed down the hall. 

That was all he needed. He knew his friend was in the recording studio. She usually was, so he wasn't too surprised. Music helped her escape everything, so it was no wonder that she surround herself with it when she was in these strange moods. 

He quickly thanked the receptionist for her help and walked down the hall. It was more of a mini-run, if he was analyzing it. Once he reached her usual studio (she always refused to use a different one, saying that this was her lucky one), he knocked. 

In seconds the door opened. It wasn't rushed, but it wasn't slow. It was normal. She stood there. Her eyes were residually red, but they didn't look wet. She looked presentable. She smiled at him.

"Oh, hi, Jae," she said. "What're you doing here?" 

He let out a sigh. "You called me."

She furrowed her brows. "No, I didn't."

"Yeah, you did." He pulled out his phone, showing its call records for proof. 

She looked confused. "But I... I didn't." Her hands started shaking. He reached out for them, but she pulled away. "I've been dealing with it on my own—I swore I wouldn't call you."

"Janey—"

She jumped back from him. "No!" she snapped, raking her fingers through her hair. "No, no, no... I didnt!" Suddenly, she looked angry. 

These mood swings were natural nowadays, though she hadn't yet told him the reason why. He just dealt with them. "Stop lying to me! You're my friend, you're not supposed to lie to me!"

His jaw was set tight and his gaze was sharp. He knew he must've looked like a disappointed parent, but he felt it was allowed. These nights were getting out of control. He had to think about his health, too...

At least, that's what he knew he should be thinking.

All that was in his mind, however, was her. What kind of worries was she dealing with? What kind of self-criticizing song was she composing behind the scenes? What sort of toxic thoughts were spinning around her unique, mysterious, beautiful mind? 

Without holding back any longer, he trapped her in a hug and closed the door behind him, despite her loud protesting. He ran his finger through her hair and shushed her quietly, trying to get her calm down. When had she started crying again?

"I said, _let me go!_ Why are you doing this to me?" she yelled through her tears, banging on his chest with clenched fists. 

He kept his grip firm, an attempt at comfort. "I don't know _why_ I'm doing this," he said finally, after having waited for her to quiet down a little. "But even if you beat me up every time I come over, even if you call me at damn _ungodly_  hours of the night, even if you tell me to go away and leave you alone, however you treat me, I'll accept it, Janey." He rubbed her back soothingly. "I'll accept it, and I'll take it like a champ."

For whatever reason, his words shot straight to her heart, making more tears escape. She tried pushing him away again, but that seemed to light something in him, too. 

_"Stop!"_ he shouted, grabbing her wrists. "Just stop!" She'd never seen him look so angry. Then again, he'd only _felt_ this angry a fist-full of times. "This stupid game of push-and-pull—just knock it off! You're acting like a child! Just talk to me!" 

She couldn't help but shout back. "About _what?"_

"I don't know—everything!" 

"Well, I don't wanna talk about it with you—just leave!" Before either of them knew what was happening, her palm was red. Red from having come into searing contact with something. Red from having hit Jaehyung's cheek. 

His glasses had flown off, landing on the desk beside them. The side of his face was burning.

They were both frozen with shocked expressions. 

"J-Jae," she stuttered, shaking terribly. Tears started falling again, but they weren't angry. They were sad, regretful. "Oh my gosh, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear. I... I didn't mean to." 

She reached out to touch his cheek, but he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from doing so. He slowly, agonizingly slowly, grabbed his glasses off the desk, slipping them back on. They had a small crack in the lower corner. 

He looked at her, his eyes cold and emotionless. "I must be crazy," he scoffed. "This isn't right." He turned to the door, reaching out for the handle. 

"Jae, no!" She sounded so desperate. "Don't go, please!"

He keep his hand on the doorknob. "Just a second ago, you were telling me to leave."

"I know... I know that." She sniffled and wiped her eyes, trying to be stronger in front of him, not that it did much good. She was still sobbing. "I didn't know what I was saying. I was wrong—I need you." 

He scoffed, more at himself than at her. "I think I'm out of my mind." He looked at her, his hand staying in the same place. "Why can't I let you go?" He chuckled, but it wasn't warm and fun-loving like it usually was. It was colder. A conduit for his pain. "I don't know," he said. "Strangely, I keep coming when you call. Strangely enough, I keep doing this."

He looked her in the eyes, almost like an intimidation technique. If it was, it was working. She was frozen, staring up at him with wide eyes. "I keep coming back to you. Even when yesterday passed, even when today ends, I think I'll _still_ keep coming aback to you." He shook his head. "Why do I bother, though? You don't even bother to call me to let me know you got home okay anymore!" 

There was a quick flash of sadness in his eyes, replacing his chilling anger for just a moment. "You always used to do that. I'm not a fool, but I just keep... Returning. You're like a drug that I keep relapsing on." He let out a sigh, heavy with compressed emotions. "Honestly, I think I'm gonna collapse from exhaustion." 

"...Because of me?" Her words were quiet as mouse skittering across the floor, almost inaudible.

"Yeah. Because of you." His hand slipped from the door handle, landing limply at his side. He felt so weak in that moment. She called him, she counted on him, yet he couldn't ever help her. He didn't even know what was wrong with her. 

"Listen," he said, "I don't expect you be my girlfriend, wife, or my life-partner... But I am your friend, and I like to think a pretty good one, so just think of me as a little more. It's simple." 

She fiddled nervously with her sleeves, her tears having finally slowed. "What do you mean by that?" 

He looked at her, and for the first time, she could see all the emotion he was locking up inside all these months. 

He was crying, too.

"It means," he started, his tone wavering, _"trust_ me. Trust me with everything that's bothering you—I promise I won't hurt you with it. I know you've been hurt before, and even if I'm crazy for saying this, I need you just as much as you need me. Maybe more." He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself steady. "I can't push you away, even if I try." 

He laughed dryly at himself for being so silly. He wiped his bitter tears. They came down harder the more he looked at her, so instead, he stared up at the ceiling. It was dark and blank, a perfect artistic description of how his heart felt at the moment. 

Of course, how does one paint pain?

"I've looked into the mirror," he said quietly, "and I've told myself to forget you, or ignore your call the next time it comes in, but I never change. The only thing that changes is the anxiousness in my heart." He put a hand on his chest and gripped his hoodie strings, trying to find purchase on anything to keep himself from sobbing. 

It didn't work. "And it hurts so much to know you don't trust me enough to just talk to me!"

The sentence was broken and painful to listen to, and it ended in a heart-wrenching sob that led him to lean back against the door, slide down it slowly, and sit on the floor, removing his glasses and hiding his eyes.

It wasn't even five minutes later before he felt a warmth beside him. Another body. 

Pressed close to each other, a head laid on his shoulder, a porcelain hand rubbing precise, comforting circles against the curve of his back, and the soft breathing against his neck. 

It was Janey, unmistakably. It wasn't just for the fact that she was the only other one there, it was that fact that everything was about the body was so undeniably her.

The breath, gentle, controlled, and calming; a hint of autumn and mint on her tongue. 

The silky smoothness of the dark hair he felt tickling his cheek.

The way the hand knew exactly where all the pressure points on his back were. The places that had been under the most stress, the places that were sore. It was like the hand was drawn to them, working out all the kinks and muscle pain, like magic. 

There was only one person like that: Lee Janey. 

Slowly, he lifted his head to look at her, slipping back on his glasses. She looked a little more like herself, now that all the tears had stopped. She looked very intelligent, heavily logical, slightly childish, mildly playful, and intensely caring. 

Just the way he knew her; just the way he had _always_ known her, ever since Brian first introduced them several years ago. 

"I _do_ trust you," she said softly, almost a whisper in his ear. "I trust you so much that words don't even need to be spoken between us for me to feel better." She shuffled closer to him. He didn't move away. "I call you because sometimes, I feel like shit, and I just need someone to hold me. Specifically, you—because your hugs are out of this world." 

She cracked a small smile, which he returned. "That's your reason?" he asked. "I'm your hug-prostitute?" 

She nodded, chuckling a little. "Yup—that's all you're good for," she joked quietly. "Memes, music, and hugs." 

"The triple M."

"Hugs starts with 'h', genius."

"Not if you say _many_ hugs, genius." They both stared at each before they bust out laughing. He gave her a tight hug, but this time, she returned it. "I'm so glad you're back," he whispered breathlessly.

She nodded against the crook of his neck. "Mhm. Me, too. Thanks for pulling me out of my own head." She pulled away a little, so she could look him in the eyes. All four of them, he'd joke. "And now that I'm out, I'll tell you everything." 

He brighten. "Really?"

"Yeah. But, I'm just warning you, it's a long list." 

He held her hand. "I've got all the time in the world, for you. Guess I'm just out of my mind like that."


	3. 3. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor, unfortunate Young K, having to deal with Jae when he's in one of his Janey-induced moods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a comedic take on an emotional and difficult song.   
> What have I done? XD

"Brian!" Jaehyung said for what he was sure was the fortieth time. He groaned loudly, and maybe a little over-dramatically. Clearly, this wasn't working. "Younghyun."   


Finally, he looked at him, pausing his bass tuning. "Wow," he said. "It must be pretty serious if you're calling me by my real name."    


"I've been talking to you for the past hour."   


The bassist click his tongue. "All I heard was the B-word."   


"You say that like it a curse!"   


He glared at him. "It _is_ a curse. One that _you_ bestowed upon me."    


Jae rolled his eyes. "It's your name, dude, give up!"    


Younghyun rolled his eyes. "So what is it that you so desperately needed to tell me?"    


The taller of the two went serious again. "She won't even pick up my calls anymore!"    


He furrowed his brows. "Who won't?"   


"Janey! _My_ Janey won't pick up my phone calls!" He was waving his arms around for emphasis.    


"Technically, she's _my_ Janey; we've been friends way longer than you have, but either way, don't let her hear us talking about that." He set his bass aside. "She'll go into one of her rants about how she doesn't belong to anybody." He shivered, remembering a time when she gave that very speech to JYP himself.    


Now that was scary.   


Jae sighed airily. "I miss her rants, man... She hasn't talked to me for days—weeks! Instead of her, I hear a dull, monotone voice in the back of my head, whispering."    


He let him finish his tirade before chuckling. "You're so clingy, dude." He stretched a little. "She's probably just busy; she's debuting soon."   


"How are you NOT clingy?" the older all but yelled in his face. "If you've been her friend twice as long, you should be twice as clingy."   


"I don't think that's how that works."   


"Yes. Yes, it is."   


He sighed. "Whatever you say. I just think your being a little over-dramatic." As he spoke, Jae draped himself over the back of the couch, moaning in faux-agony. "...Yup. Definitely over-dramatic."   


"Brian, there have been hard days, I'll admit," he droned, "but I could never hope to win over this moment." He whipped out his phone. "Look! She even has an alternative best friend!"    


Younghyun had to move the screen away from his face to properly see, but when his eyes finally came into focus, he saw a picture of Janey and a handsome young man (albeit, a little squirrel-like), sitting down for lunch at the JYP cafeteria. "Who's that?" he asked.    


Jae made a disgusted face. "Han Jisung from Stray Kids." He mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'freakin' multi-talented, multilingual king'. "You should just hear him talk to her!" He cleared his throat, adopting a high-pitched, annoying tone. _"'Oh, 누나 (noona), listen! Has my pronunciation gotten better? I've been practicing just for you!'_ Bleh!"    


Younghyun couldn't help himself—he was enjoying this. Sure, it'd get annoying after a while, but then he'd just get Janey to hang out with him for a day, because right now? It  was just hilarious. "I just have to ask—have you been stalking them?"   


"A little bit, but it's my rite as her best friend. My Twitter followers agree."   


He said, chuckling, "Sounds to me like you're jealous."   


Jae shot up. "Me, jealous? Of _that brat?"_ He made an exaggerated scoffing noise. "I think not! #HeAin'tGotNothin'OnMe!" He huffed and crossed his arms, resuming his flopped position.    


The younger moved his bass farther away, not wanting it to get damaged if his band-mate decided to flop about. "There's obviously something more you're not telling me if you're being this openly pouty."   


He stayed quiet for a moment. "...A few weeks ago, she told me we should take some time away from each other."    


"Did she say it seriously?"   


"Nah, it was just kinda casual."   


He flicked the older's forehead. "You know she was just saying that so she could focus on her debut, right?"    


He pretty much ignored him, continuing to dramatically stare off into the middle distance. "When I heard her say that we should take some time... I understood it exactly as it sounded."   


"Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure it's for debut—"   


He threw a pillow grumpily across the room, colliding with the TV, but luckily not knocking it over. "Well then, congrats for her—she's so amazing! Congratulations to her, and HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?"   


Younghyun pinched the bridge of his nose. "I honestly can't believe you're older than me." He started scrolling through the many, many pictures that Jae had lowkey-stalker taken of their friend. "So she's busy, and doesn't pick up your calls. Whatever! It happens, people get busy. So she hangs out with another artist. He's nineteen. What do you think's gonna happen?"   


Jae snatched the phone away, scrolling through the pictures himself. "Yes, yes—you make some fair points, but the real point is: how can she look so fine without us?! She looks perfectly normal!" He shoved another photo in the younger's face. "How could she trample on us like this?  When I see her smiling face, it's clear that she's forgotten all about us." He let the phone slip from his bony fingers, bouncing dramatically on the couch till it laid flat. "Admit it, Brian. We're dead to her."   


Younghyun tried hard not to overuse the eye-roll. "You're insane." He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Here, it's pretty late, but lemme just call her." He put it on speaker, and clicked her contact. The phone started ringing.   


Jae scoffed. "Oh, what makes you think she'll answer yo—?"   


"Yo, what's up, K?" came from the other end of the phone.   


"OH, SO YOU PICK UP FOR BRIAN—I SEE HOW IT IS."   


"...Is that Jae?"    


Younghyun waved off Jae for a moment, trying to at least get one word in. "Yeah, it's him. He's being a whiny ass, do you think you could talk to him for a mo?"   


Jae was complaining in the background, but he could just about hear her say, "Uh... Sure."    


"Okay, thanks. I'm handing you over." He dropped the phone in his band-mate's hand, but he stayed right where he was. This was all too amusing for him, and he didn't want to miss a single second of it.    


Once Jae stopped his whining, he huffed moodily, clutching the phone a little tighter than Younghyun felt fully comfortable with. It was an expensive phone.   


"Uh... Hi, Jae," Janey said, her voice lightly mingled with chattering from a crowd. She was probably on the subway. "What's going on, is everything okay?"   


He scoffed. _"What's going on,_ you ask? You know what's going on! So... How is he? Is he better than me?"    


She chuckled a little, though she sounded confused. "Who are you talking about?" She drew out the first word.    


"Squirrel boy!" he snapped. "The flippin' squirrel boy!"   


She paused for a moment. "Jisung?"   


"Yeah, him," he pouted. "What'd he do, erase all your memories about me?"    


She snickered at his goofy antics. "Well, clearly not. You're still my friend, man—the kid just makes me happy. Plus, he needed a teacher. He wanted to make his pronunciation better, since their dealing with a lot more international fans, nowadays."   


He rolled his eyes, even though she couldn't see. "Oh yes, of course, because your happiness is all that matters."   


"...Are you jealous?"   


Younghyun snorted. "I told ya! He's stalking you, too!" he added.    


"I am not stalking her!" Jae defended himself.   


"Don't trust him, Jane!"   


He smacked the bassist's arm. "Shut up!"    


He heard Janey giggle. "Oh, Jae," she cooed. "Come on, just admit it!"    


"No," he said stubbornly, "I'm not gonna tell a lie like that."   


She sighed playfully. "Then can you at least wish me luck on my debut?"   


"When you're the one who left me, why should I wish you happiness?"   


She laughed again.    


Honestly, Jae wasn't even mad anymore, and anyone could tell by his giant grin. But, of course, she couldn't see that, which was perfect for him. He was just happy to be talking with her like this again. In their weird, teasingly, special way.    


Younghyun kept glancing at him with eyes filled with equal amounts confusion and brotherly affection. He thought, of course she made him normal again.    


"Can you at least _try_ to be happy for me?" Janey asked. They could hear the creak of a door, probably the subway opening up for her stop.    


Even though he was grinning ear-to-ear, Jae made his voice sound overly sarcastic and hardly genuine. "Seriously, wow girl, congratulations. It didn't take you long—you're such a hotshot." Janey started chuckling at his droning tone. "I've seen your concept pictures on the Internet. They look really good, and I like the fact that you're smiling up to your ears, but do you wanna know how I feel?"   


She tried not to laugh. "What do you feel like?"   


He took in a deep inhale to prepare for his final act in his little mini-drama. "For me, my heart still hurts every time I breathe!"    


She gut laughed over the phone, and he could tell that there were probably tears in her eyes from laughter, which made him all warm and fuzzy inside. "You're such a drama-king!" she finally got out. Her laughter trailed off until she spoke normally. "By the way, I can hear you smiling."    


He didn't even care. He was just happy. "Well, I can hear you smiling, too," he said normally, dropping the act.   


"Well then, we're both smiling."   


Younghyun threw a pillow at his band-mate and the phone he held. "Ew!" he exclaimed. "You guys are so cheesy—get that crap away from my phone!"   


"Shut up, Brian!" the two shouted at the same time. It was a perfect harmony in perfect synchronization, and they wouldn't have it any other way. Any of them.    


"So," Janey started after a moment of chuckling, "do you have anything else you wanna say to me before I hit that sack?"    


Jae hummed thoughtfully. "Like, seriously?" She made a noise of acknowledgement. "Like, truly? Like, legit?"   


"Oh my gosh, just tell me," she groaned.    


His smile was so gentle and caring, it almost made Younghyun gag. "Congratulations, on everything. Legit." 


	4. 4. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A person can be a habit, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Habits is one of my favorite songs, and it makes me very, very soft—so here ya go.
> 
> Soft Hours (feat. Dork6): OPEN

Jae walked down the streets of Seoul, out a Sunday shopping excursion with some friends.    


It wasn't a completely out of the ordinary experience. He did it semi-often, despite being dirt-poor, and hanging out with friends always meant he could lug some of the bill onto them, so that was always helpful.   


He was vlogging, and laughing, and having fun, but something felt different. Not many people would've noticed the change, but he did. He felt the absence of one thing very greatly.    


Lee Janey.   


Since her debut with her group (a band of two girls—including her—and four guys), they had grown a decent amount of popularity. Enough, in fact, that they were able to host a concert overseas.    


A few of them, actually. It was like giving them a taste of the touring experience.    


Janey had been beyond excited about it, and Jae had too, supporting her in her every endeavor. At least... That was until he realized what going overseas meant.    


She'd be gone, for a while.    


Ah. That was the lacking he was feeling.    


As he vlogged his experience, holding the camera at a flattering angle above his head, he walked by a display-case showing an album by Wanna One, an artist that Janey really loved.    


"Oh!" he spoke to the camera. "Lookie here!" He pointed to the album, zooming in on it a little. "Janey really loves these guys; says they’re super-duper slept on." He looked in the camera straight on. "I know Janey usually watches my vlogs, and I don't know if she has time to recently, but Janey, since you left me, it's been a while." He smiled. "Come back safe."    


Oh, gosh. Byron was gonna have a field-day editing that.    


Despite Janey not being there in recent weeks, Jae felt like she was still with him, a little bit. Still by his side. He'd even continued doing some of the stuff that he did when she was around, like putting his hands in his pocket as he walked, so she could link her arms with his.    


She did that a lot. Mostly because she was always cold. Old man skin.    


"Why're you doin' this to me, Jane?" he quietly chuckled to himself once he stopped filming. He saw McKay up ahead, waving him over (probably for the food court).    


"Yo, you've been mumbling to yourself all day," McKay said once Jae was close enough to hear him. "Do you really miss her that much?"   


He furrowed his brows. "What? Pfft. No." He wasn't even kidding. He genuinely didn't think he'd been mumbling about her all day, but he supposed, upon closer inspection, he kind of was. It was probably because almost everything reminded him of her.    


"Bro. You're _pining_ for her."   


He rolled his eyes. "Don't even lie, dude."   


"I'm not lying! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had a crush our little entrepreneur."    


He stuck his tongue out at him before shoving his camcorder in his backpack. "Good thing you know better, then. Besides, it isn't anything like that; I'm just going through some stuff, all right?"   


"Like what kinda stuff?"    


He ducked out of the way of an insistent kiosk vendor trying to sell him some overly-priced medicated hand-lotion. He didn't even have severe arthritis... "Just... Missing her stuff, you know? Haven't you ever missed your best friend?"   


McKay shook his head, adjusting his cap. "Nope. I'm my own best friend—no one can compare to me." Jae gave him a look. "Fine, fine! Yes! Okay? Yes. I've missed my friends before. But not like you, man! You're like a different breed when you're missing her! Every day, it's like you're living on a wheel—total repeat!"  He brushed some bangs from his forehead. "I really hope your feelings change soon, 'cause not having what you want—her—"   


"You really didn't need to emphasize," Jae interrupted tersely.   


"—It's hurting your heart, I can tell," he finished, proud of himself for being such an insightful detective. Jae didn't seem as impressed, though.    


He shrugged. "I guess that's what they call a habit; I'm used to having her around, so it feels a little... Quiet now."   


McKay rolled his eyes. "Bro, you're so whipped. You're such a loser."   


Jae knew that he was partially correct. He was totally whipped, but he would never admit that, and he could tell by the fact that even when he was standing in an empty room, no one inside, he was still waiting for her to walk in. He could tell by the fact that his hands had a habit of trying to touch her, even when she wasn't there; reach out for her hand.    


He could tell by the way his mouth had a habit of calling out for her whenever he saw something funny or cool. He would call out to her in empty air sometimes (only when he was alone, mind you), just to hear her name spoken. He basically beckoned to find her, and he felt a little silly about it, but hey. What was he going to do?   


He missed his friend while she was away for a long time. No big.    


So, he supposed the best way to describe it wasn't that he had a habit for her, but more so, that _she_ was his habit. Again, he felt a little funny about that, but he supposed it was only normal. When something's in your life for a long time, and then it's suddenly not, it takes a second to get used to.    


In a way, it reminded him of when his guitar broke, and Sungjin got him a new one for his birthday. It took him so long to play that thing well, and it was because he wasn't used to it.   


It wasn't a habit.   


Of course, he could never compare her to a musical instrument. She was too flamboyant for that, he'd always say. Plus, she never listened to him. At least he could control a keyboard or guitar; the same couldn’t be said for her. There was no controlling that woman.

She was amazing like that. But of course, if she was there, she'd argue with him, saying that she was pretty unremarkable, especially compared to him. She always sang his praises, hyped him up, secretly admired him, but she never voiced any positive things about herself.   


That was _her_ habit. He hoped she'd grow out of that one.    


He wanted to be someone who gave her confidence, not that made her feel insecure.    


The normal, everyday-life things she still did resonated with him a lot, because they made him realize just how much he relied on her for things.    


He hadn't realize how much he needed the all-caps texts reminding him to go to sleep at a decent hour, or to actually eat lunch.   


He hadn't realized how much he needed the weird, random phones calls saying things like: 'Okay, so, dumb thought number thirty-seven... Why do people say we have ten fingers if the thumb doesn't count as a finger? Doesn't that make us have eight?'   


He hadn't realized how much he needed for her to quietly giggle and try to hide it when he came into work with his hair still a mess from the previous night.    


He hadn't realize how much he needed her fingers to comb through the fine strands on top of his head, pulling out the minimal tangles and somehow managing to tame the beast on his head he called hair.    


He'd noticed that, even though she wasn't by his side, his body still reacted as if she was—exactly the same.    


Something a lot of people didn't notice was the fact that he and Janey had matching rings. They were both thick, bronze bands, one saying 'best' (Jae) and the other saying 'friends' (Janey). They had been just a little drunk when they bought them off of Ebay, giggling like idiots, but they cherished them, nonetheless.    


Since she'd gone away, Jae had kept his ring specifically in his pocket, just so he could fiddle with it or pull it out whenever he felt like it. He had to admit though, he forgot about it sometimes, as proven by its few-too-many trips through the washing machine.    


It was only now that she wasn't there (even though he knew it wasn't permanent) did he realize that he'd made a lot of promises to her. Promises about cool things they would do tomorrow, and then next day, but with her so far away, it kind of felt like those fun ideas were fading a little too quickly. He'd been trying to fill the empty space she left with other things, hence why he went out with his friends more often.    


He'd dragged Jimin and Kevin out a lot more, recently. Sometimes Eric would tag along, but he'd been so busy recently, so that was rare. He'd managed to get Amber to go out on a little mini-adventure with him, he'd finally beaten Dowoon in League of Legends, and he even went to a nice fancy dinner with all of Kard.    


Heck, you knew he was desperate when he took Wonpil out to McDonald's with him. Micky D'd was a sacred, and now it had been desecrated by the pink sweater...    


Janey actually liked that sweater, believe it or not. She said it looked cute on him, giving Wonpil a major confidence boost. Unfortunately for everybody else, that meant that he wore the coma-inducing sweater more often.    


To summarize, he was running around till his feet felt sore, but he was still in the same position. He guessed that was what being apart was. He had felt that way when he first left his family to train, but he hadn’t felt it much since then. It felt a little lonely, if he was being honest...    


He was getting used to not having her around, and that's what really bothered him. He kept the thought safely locked in his heart that, as if nothing happened, she'd be returning in a few months, and she could be one of his weird quirks again.    


He knew that traveling sometimes changed a person little bit, but he couldn't help but hope that she hadn't changed that much, because he definitely hadn't changed at all.    


She still remained inside of him, while he was sure that her mind was probably too preoccupied to think about him much. Or any of them. But mostly him.   


Damn... He really _was_ whipped.    


At least, in about two months, she'd get to be one of his number one habits again. Like holding his guitar pick in between his teeth, teasing his band-mates, or hiding his mouth when he laughed.    


An unavoidable habit which made up a part of his being.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh! Well, hello there! ^_^ Fancy seeing you here~  
> Did ya like the first chapter? I sure hope so! 
> 
> This is my way of telling stories through music; specifically, Day6 music. I don't think there's many things that are more expressive and emotional than Day6 lyrics, so trying to channel them into mere words? It's hard. But I hope to do well. :3
> 
> Each chapter is a story based on a Day6 song, and will usually involve Lee Janey—a character I created. You'll learn more about her as each story goes on, but she's pretty easy to pick up on, I think, so I hope she won't confuse anyone. :>
> 
> Since I became a My Day, Jae always intrigued me, because I couldn't figure him out. In a way, this project is my own selfish, creative way of trying to decipher him.  
> I hope you all find some enjoyment out of it, though. ;D 
> 
> Stay tuned!


End file.
